is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
