you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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