South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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