stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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