I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
