your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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