is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
