I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
