I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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