i think my tv is drunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My bed smells like the plague
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
