So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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