He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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