i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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