he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
