I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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