I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
