I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
