At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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