We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
