I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize