Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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