the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
