Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
