i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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