He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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