My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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