You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
