it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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