You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
