the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
