Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
