Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize