Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
COCAINE IS GR8
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
