Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Enjoy the penises
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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