I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
