if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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