is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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