My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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