Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
