Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize