it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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