It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
