im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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