I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
