i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Say something about gay babies.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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