:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
