I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize