Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
