I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
