Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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