Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
