i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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