You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
