Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
