: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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