We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize