susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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