I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Small penises have feelings too.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
