pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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