well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
