I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The air taste purple.
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