Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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