your parents love me but you hate me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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