just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
