Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
