Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
