Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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